This Violation of Second Amendment Rights Is an Outrage!

I’ve seen the light. I’m going to join with my brothers in the NRA in protesting this nation’s most egregious violation of Second Amendment rights — the fact that citizens are not permitted to carry concealed weapons into courthouses and legislative buildings. We must petition to end this injustice at once! After all, if lots and lots of unregulated guns serve to protect everyone from small schoolchildren to drunken barflies, as the NRA boasts, then I see no reason why that same comforting protection should not be extended to judges and lawmakers.

We should petition the poor things, to demand that they abandon their heroic stance and protect themselves by being surrounded by lots of armed strangers who bristle with concealed weapons.