Friday, October 4, 2013

The World of Books


By Dan Hagen
The orange card was still in the pocket of the hardcover copy of John Cheever’s The World of Apples that I picked up at the Mattoon Library sale yesterday.
It’s a thin yet somehow substantial-feeling third edition, illustrated with a painting of an enormous green apple filling a room. Printed in June 1973, this short story collection proved to be a popular companion, and was first due back home at the library in July 1973.
The library loaned it out 34 times, those lendings filling the front of the orange card and part of the back.
“Put down your lendings,” the naked off-Broadway theatre cast and audience chants at the embarrassed narrator in the collection’s first story, The Fourth Alarm. He was willing to get naked with them but unwilling to surrender his car keys and wallet. So he walks, alone and rejected, back out of the theatre into the freshly falling snow, grateful after all for his clothes and his snow tires.
The book’s lendings ended Nov. 4, 1991. Now, wanted again, it will find a retirement home on my bookshelf, no longer wandering the world, no longer feeling the rough, interested caress of literate strangers.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Better Fasten Your Seat Belt


If the Tea Bagger GOP defaults on the national debt, thereby sending the world economy into another tailspin, no one should pretend to be surprised. 
We have been permitting the press and the parties to treat delusional and/or power-mad, whored-out cretins like Palin, Cruz and Bachmann as acceptable political leaders for years now. 
You can't put a blind moron behind the wheel and permit him to floor the gas pedal without knowing what comes next for you. You're along for the ride.



Saturday, September 28, 2013

A Romantic Comedy for an Unromantic Age


Tony Danza and Joseph Gordon-Levitt in their father-and-son wife beaters.

By Dan Hagen
“Pillow Talk” was the romantic comedy perfectly suited to its year, 1959, which means it’s extremely dated now. But the romantic comedy “Don Jon,” as 2013 as a text message, is just as funny as the Doris Day vehicle ever was, and has a bit more heart.
Instead of a smartly dressed Manhattanite on a party line, we get a lower-class bartender on porn. The veneer of sophistication is replaced by a veneer of crudity because, as you may have noticed, our times are crude. But there’s humor beneath the vulgarity, and humanity beneath the humor.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt wrote, directed and starred, and every smart trick he learned in a Hollywood childhood is up there on the screen. He knows that one secret to a great screen joke is to startle the audience with its truth.
He plays a self-contained young man whose self-imposed limitations power his self-satisfied Jimmy Cagney strut. He has just eight interests, no more — his body (muscled), his car (muscle), his buddies (beer), his family (Italian-American), his church (Catholic), his girls (many) and his apartment (clean, thanks to his quirky Felix Unger fervor). And, of course, his on-line pornography (addictive).
Secretly, he prefers the perfection of porn to the girls he beds, until someone even more perfect crosses his path and upsets his balance. Falling fast and hard for a woman who looks like Scarlett Johannson (because she is) and sounds like Fran Drescher, he learns that perfection comes with its own set of demands.
Gordon-Levitt, meanwhile, knows how to make perfect use of the elements at his disposal, which include Johannson, Glenne Headley, Tony Danza, Julianne Moore and the satiric possibilities of ritual. He swiftly and hilariously skewers the ritualized silliness of dance club pickups, of the way guys yell in cars and even (play within a play) of romantic comedy films (Anne Hathaway and Channing Tatum pitch in with cameos there). This is the best kind of comedy, the kind that hits so close to home that the audience is sometimes momentarily too startled to laugh.
Finally, Gordon-Levitt’s character will need to exceed his limitations, and to do that he’ll have to heed the voice of wisdom, which comes from an unexpected quarter.
This movie is a daybreaker (so good it breaks your day cleanly into halves, before and after). It’s the best film I’ve seen in the last 10 months.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Shazam! It's Fred MacMurray!


Alex Ross frequently uses MacMurray as the model for the classic Captain Marvel
Best not to piss Fred off.
Fred MacMurray could fly, even without the hot rod he super-souped up in Disney’s “The Absent-Minded Professor.”
The Hollywood leading man had an odd and hidden history with the beginnings of the superhero genre. He was used the model for Fawcett’s Captain Marvel on the cover of his initial appearance in the first published issue of Whiz Comics in 1940, when the whole superhero genre spawned by Superman was only a couple of years old.
By 1943, with Captain Marvel and the other superheroes now enormously popular with both kids and U.S. troops overseas, MacMurray effectively appeared AS Captain Marvel in a dream sequence during the romantic comedy film “No Time For Love,” co-starring Claudette Colbert. In 1940, Captain Marvel wanted to be Fred MacMurray. Three years later, Fred MacMurray wanted to be Captain Marvel. You chart the instant, explosive popularity of the superhero genre right there. You can see the film clip right here.
He-man Fred became a superman in this 1943 romantic comedy

Fortune and Misfortune


Bronze statue from the first century B.C.
In 43 B.C., a Roman teenager named Atilius was newly rich, having just come of age and inherited a fortune from his late father.
He and his friends were celebrating, making sacrifices in temples near the Forum, when he saw his name on the white boards there, and went white himself.
In the shifting civil unrest that prevailed since the assassination of Julius Caesar, former foes Mark Antony and Octavian (later the emperor Augustus) had met under truce on a small river island to pool their power.
They and Antony’s friend Lepidus had formed the Second Triumvirate, essentially a shared five-year dictatorship. They needed to raise money for armies to oppose the forces of Caesar’s assassins, but how?
The answer was proscription — declaring on white boards in the Forum the names of those citizens who were to be killed, with their lands and fortunes seized. The three of them haggled to create a list of political and personal enemies they wanted to see liquidated. Anyone who informed on one of the proscribed persons or helped to kill him got a cut of the loot.
The young Atilius’ only crime was having a fortune worth stealing. His friends and slaves immediately deserted him, and he went to his mother, who was too frightened to hide him and turned him away.
Alone, Atilius fled to the mountains. But the rich boy was eventually forced by hunger to return to the road, where a highwayman kidnapped and enslaved him. In chains, he managed to escape to a main road where he identified himself to passing centurions. Unwisely, as it turned out.
They killed Atilius and probably cut off his head. After all, why drag a whole body back to Rome for the reward when all you need is the head?
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love,” wrote Marcus Aurelius, the stoic philosopher who was also a Roman emperor. “Do every act of your life as if it were your last.”
The idea of taking nothing whatsoever for granted may seem unduly harsh to us now, but the Romans had their reasons.
Sources: “Augustus” by Anthony Everitt; “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius