The Stepford Mormon Goes Abroad

Illustration by Mario Piperni

By Dan Hagen

Now playing, the hilarious sequel "The Stepford Mormon Goes Abroad!" You can put Romney's life in perspective if you view it as a series of "Ma an Pa Kettle" movies starring Gordon Gekko.
For example, Mitt says "socialized health care" is RIGHT for Israel, because he's eagerly smooching Israel's ass. But Mitt says "socialized health care" is WRONG for America, because he's also busy protecting corporations' greedy desire to gouge every last dime out of sick Americans. Mitt Romney. He just takes whoring to a whole new level.

“Corporations are people,” Mitt Romney said. Republicans deny humanity to actual human beings like illegal aliens, gays and Muslims, but grant it to legal fictions created by the rich solely to dodge taxes and evade responsibility.

And Romney should know. He himself is the natural child of Bain Capital and the Disney corporation. The Stepford Mormon should be popular, because has been programmed by his creators at Disney Animatronics to be on every possible side of every possible issue.

Romney is a cheerfully unprincipled little merry-go-round. If you don't like his current "core conviction," just wait a moment until the exact opposite "core conviction" spins around, and you can hop right on then.

Mittens is unprincipled even by REPUBLICAN standards, if such a thing can be imagined.

Five Looney Tunes GOP moron-shill “saviors” had to flame out for the corporate media kabuki dance designed to make rank-and-file Republicans think they had some kind of a choice. Their candidate was always going to be ROMNEY, and they will cheer for the Stepford Mormon, even though we know the hypocrites all hate him.

The right wingers found, to their amazement, that — thanks to their corporate media echo chamber — they were capable of selling even a C-student, combat-dodging serial business failure who is an idiot as presidential material. So now they think they can palm any old winking, lying, phony creep off on the American people — Trump, Palin, Bachmann, Huckabee, Mittens Romneycare, anybody.