Your word for today: Hypochristians

By Dan Hagen

Your word for today: Hypochristians.
They not only endorse the invasion, bombing and torture of foreign citizens who practice religions they regard as odd, in fact they rather relish the idea — just as long as its done in the name of the Prince of Peace, who appears to them on pancakes and pieces of toast. 
They are washed in the blood of the sheep.
They despise credulous cretins like scientists and professors who dare to suggest that Jonah might not have made his home in a fish's abdomen. 

They proudly announce that they follow the Bible literally, particularly those parts in which Jesus instructs them to hoard millions, hate others and despise the poor. 
And they find, happily, that what their God wants them to do always exactly coincides with what they were going to do anyway.
Like the last, unlamented guests at a party they have ruined by being obnoxious, they always claim they're about to leave, and never do.